AmeeraZackx !

2012-01-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

This is my second post for the year and I dislike being all-so negative, but This is me, ranting about life. I see this space as a platform for me to pour my inner thoughts and feelings, and still being able to admit that I'm responsible for writing all these things. I'll try to ensure that my opinions are more likely to be based on critical judgement and not so much of my emotions. But, who am I trying to fool here? Like any other females, overpowered by feelings and emotions, I find it very difficult to hold on to that.

I had a rough night and said things that I wasn't proud of. I'm so touched, yet at the same time, angry. But most of all, I'm upset. I definitely do not have a very good reason for feeling this way nor do I think I deserve to feel this way. All I know is that i'm conflicted and confused. I want him to go with me and at the same time, I don't want him to.

But all that I'm feeling right now is not much of a concern anymore, It's official. He's not coming.

2012-01-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

I didn't blog for the whole year of 2011 and I'm going to change that for this year.

So much have happened since I last blogged and I don't even know where to start. I've accomplished a lot in the past year and I can't deny the fact that I'm proud of myself. Well let me begin with the fact that I made it through O'levels. Even though I got the results almost a year ago, the feeling that I felt on that day, was just Amazing. My hard work and sheer number of hours and sleepless nights was all worth it. Raw L1R5 of 11, enough to bring me into Meridian Junior College, where I am right now. The year of 2011 was filled with so much memories. Some that I wish I could forget and some that I hope I will never have to. I struggled through Year 1 in MJ and now I'm a J2 student. Taking A levels at the end of this year, A levels. Oh my god, A levels.

Well, that's a quick summary of whats going on in my life. Of course, I've done so much more than this! Did I mention that while waiting for my O'levels results, I had my first part-time job ever? I worked with my mom @ DHL, earning about $6.50/h. 6 hours everyday, 5 times a week. This, by far, was one of the most interesting thing that I did during the holiday, besides gaining weight. The whole working experience gave me a taste of working life. Something, that I'm definitely not ready for. It gave me a whole new perspective. Up till today, whenever I see my mom getting ready to go to work, I tell myself that I'm going to study and work hard, get myself a decent well-paying job, so that my mom doesn't have to go to work anymore. Mom, i love you.

Fast-forward to the day I stepped into MJC. The seniors welcomed us by standing along the sides of the gate and clapped and cheered as we went into the school. It was overwhelming but It's effective, in a way, their enthusiasm left me with nothing but a deep sense of belonging to the school. My Meridian journey didn't start out that great. I barely knew anyone and the thought of having to make new friends all over again just discouraged me from having fun. I was brought out of my comfort zone and I couldn't help but to feel restless and lost. All I ever wanted then was for my best friend to be there with me. I went through 4 years of secondary school life with the people that I've grown to love and care for. Making new friends, at that point of time, was just difficult for me. Coming from a neighbourhood school didn't help a bit, I definitely felt left-out during the first few days....and weeks. Eventually, I made new friends, whom are now my Close Friends. I felt blessed being able to be a part of an incredible class. My Meridian journey begin to pick up from there and the following months was just ___________. Obviously, I can't find a word to describe it. It's just beyond awesome.

I'm in Drama Club, or we would like to be called The Meridian Stage, and I owe it to this incredible group of people for making my journey a whole lot more easier. Even if I've never really shown it physically, I genuinely love each and every single member of this family. In the year of 2011, The Meridian Stage put up our very own musical @ Alliance Francaise. Months and months of rehearsals was clearly worth it when we saw the smiles on everyone's faces. Standing Ovation. A feeling so strong that I could barely describe with just words. The support that we received was Amazing, I could not have asked for more. Really. This year, the Meridian Stage will be going through SYF. Probably the only performing arts CCA that will be having SYF. Hopefully, we could overcome any hardships together, as one. God, please.

I've grown and changed so much as an individual. Every single day, I wake up, hoping that I could be a better person. God gave me another chance at life and I don't want him to ever regret giving me this opportunity to live. Have you ever met someone with big dreams and you think that he'll never be able to achieve it? Well I've met that person and I'm living in her world. Not only does she have a big dream, she would love everyone to be a part of it and dream with her. So that one day, all of us could turn this big dream of hers, into reality.

2010-07-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

You live once, and live it well.

Though life may seem pointless most of the times, i wont deny that there are moments that you would never forget. Moments when you wish it would last longer. Moments when you hope it never ends. Moments when you wish you had captured it with a camera. These are the few moments that would see you through the miserable life you're living. These are the moments that would be the reasons to why you're still holding on. You may lose trust, love, and care. But you can never lose this moments, cause they will forever be in your memories. (unless you're senile, of course)

For me, life has always been challenging. I see these challenges as a reminder from God, so that i would be constantly reminded that I dont live for myself. I am reminded that miracles dont come by easy. I am reminded that i have choices in life. It is all up to me what kind of life i want to live. It is all up to me what i want to be in life. Somebody told me before, that i have to be positive in life and i can control over my own feelings. I believed his words. But i just cant believe that right now, He is going against his own words. Im having doubts, my friends. My questions are often left unanswered. For those who have the answers to all my doubts, please help me.

So you see, the good moments in my life are limited. And all this while, im holding on to these moments. I feel like i know why i am still living this life, at least i think i do. But im running out of moments. Tell me, what else can i hold on to now. No, i cant hold on to your promises. Cause i'll end up getting more hurt.

2010-04-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Love lend you his Watch.
Love give his best advice.
Love plays uno with you after an important paper.
Love mms you a photo of his muscle.
Love cooks you a plate of Nasi goreng.
Love stares at his muscle more than he stares at you.
Love shares his passion fruit milkshake (with coconut jelly) with you.
Love ties your hair while waiting for a bus.
Love would call you no matter how angry you are with him.
Love does not shower when he meets after a day at the gym.
Love plays badminton with you and never let you win.
Love wont care how you look like.
Love plays happy family with you.
Love sends you a voice clip saying nothing but a 'mrgggghwah'.
Love makes you feel like you're the only girl on earth.

Love is weak.

What does your love does?

2010-04-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

For the name of Fun.

2010-02-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

Lying isn't the easy way out of fights.

Lie is something you can control. Lie is something you can choose not to do. Lie is something you can deal with. Lie is something you can decide not to do. Lie is something which is not hard to resist. We can't possibly lie and claimed it a white lie. We can't possibly lie and said its for the better of others. We can't simple just lie and thinks its fine. Lying, is never fine.

Have you ever think of how much it would crush somebody if they were to know you lied? Have you ever think of how much pain you would bring to somebody with your lies? Have you ever think of what your lies can do to somebody's life? You never know unless you have been lied to. And being lied to, sucks. Cause at the end of the day, you would just be another naive girl, drowned in your boyfriend's lies.

Blamed fate but never blame yourself.

Isn't it amazing how much it sucks to be at fault? Do you ever realized that you have been putting all the blame to Fate? Poor little Fate for doing so much ruins to people's life, people like you. All of us, me and you. But do you really think that Fate has been doing all these to your life? Or do you really think you have nothing to do with all the failures in your life? It must have been Fate's fault for making me failed Physics then. It must be Fate's fault for ruining my friendships then. You really think that way, do you? Shame on you.

It is nice to know that there is someone out there that cares for you, loves you, crave for your company. It is never nice, to know that there is somebody out there that longs to destroy you, that just wants to get you out of her life. But, it is great to know that there is somebody out there, that would be your soul mate one day. You may never know, until that day happens.

It hurts me a million times more, boy.

Happy one year five month of texting.

2010-01-26T18:53:00.000-08:00

A Simple touch,
gives that feeling so stong

A simple smile,
brings back the moments we shared

A simple piture,
etched in my mind forever.

With every word of love,
I tremble feeling so treasured.

With every hug,
i feel so secured.

I'm like the stars
and you're the moon

Together
We're beautiful like nothing else in the world.

You,
are unbelievably beautiful
For you I would risk dying in a duel

My love is so strong,
it makes me fly
Each time we go home,
I have to deeply sigh

How i long for us to be here together,
Without you
i feel life does not matter.

Love is beautiful, you see.

2010-01-11T05:41:00.000-08:00

Thank God.

Babe, hold on to me. Stay strong.
Dude, I've never seen a true man cried. Hang on.

2010-01-10T05:58:00.000-08:00

Oh God,

Please, fulfill my wishes of getting a distinction for my Malay Olevels.
Please, fulfill our dreams of getting a hundred percent distinction.
Please, fulfill his desires of seeing his student pass with flying colors.

Please.

2010-01-09T00:32:00.000-08:00

So you claimed i was the reason why this even sparked?
you said i was the cause of the whole damn thing?
you said that i made what it is today?

Have you ever even think where YOU went wrong instead of just thinking how fg bitchy i am?

So you said it was yours?
you said that I, not in any way, even deserve this?
you said it is not supposed to be how it is today?

Have you even think of what it wants instead of what you want?

So you see this is the thing about liars, in my point of view of course, i mean like CMON who doesn't lie. If you said, "ME" you're lying. But there's certain extent of lying. One that lie for the better. Another one is lie for pleasure. So you see, i'll just feed you guys with some tips on how to spot a perfect liar. Firstly, they tend to manipulate people's mind and they're just so good in making people feel sorry fo them. They're so good in making people think that they're innocent. They are the ones that you may nvr thought would have lied. They're so smart in making things complicated for you to understand. They're so SMART, yet so stupid. So if you think you may never be the one, think again.

Sometimes, you lie too much, you dont even know whats right.

2010-01-05T04:46:00.000-08:00

Know what?

Happy One Year, Ri.

*blush

2010-01-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

Dont i say i didnt warn you, girl.
Ariel (this time correct okay)
This girl here have been like there for me when i need to let out something, really.
This girl over here which I've known for almost a year is like so sweet, really.
(During my bday, she and Tiwa came all the way frm school to my house just to pass me a lil cute cake saying "Little miss Naughty" and they ran away so that i could be with Ri.)
This girl over here is very nice lah, really. (Am i correct, princess?)
This girl here, is very strong. Really.
Thank You babe, REALLY.

2010-01-03T05:17:00.000-08:00

Athira: "Ameera if yre not gna shut up Im gna Cepuk your face"

Thank you fr being there for me.

I believe you.

2010-01-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

Betul, tak bohong.

2010-01-02T06:08:00.000-08:00

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS PLUS THE CHIPETTES: During new year, my family and i went to Johor's City square to watch this. To welcome 2010 and also to celebrate my Younger sister's birthday. So how was it?! Blondes would say, " OMG LOVE BRITNEY'S DRESS AND JENNETE'S SPECS. OMG SO GNA BUY THOSE." Minahrep would go somewhat like, "EEE sial arh, kiut perh tu binatang! tq bley angkat lah seyyy" (bad impersonation). Bimbos would go, "wait, I DONT GET IT. so who won? umm *flicks hair". Ameera would have said, "hahaha, omg it makes me laugh from start till end. would rate it 3/5 but still, they're so adorable." watch kay :D
Love me if you dare: I wont spoil the movie and tell you guys what happened but imma just gna let you have a rough idea of what its about. It is about a young boy and a young girl who plays a dare game from young till v v v v old. How does it work? Whoever holds this particular tin, will have a turn in daring the other player. So since they were very young, they ruined each other's life by daring each other the most impossible thing ever. Like singing happily at someone's funeral. Wearing bra and panties like outside instead of in. Slapping someone for no reason. Saying NO, I DONT ACCEPT HER during he's marriage. Stand blindfolded and almost getting hit down by a train. Not meeting each other for ten years. okay and many more. But the most exciting dare was that they dared each other to love. rate 9/10

2010-01-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

TRUST

is the thing that i can never own. The thing that i can never hold. The thing that i can never feel once more. The thing that I've always longed for. The thing that I've always wished never been taken away from me. The thing that i've always hope could be there so i dont have to toture a guy that wasnt even the cause of it. The thing that i've always dreamed of having.

It's like some word being written on the beach and being washed off easily by the waves. Its like some one's mistake that was repeatedly made and repeatedly erased. It was like some formulas that i'd forget after puttng in so much effort to memorise them. Its like some guy's fourty-fourth girlfriend that was dumped. Point ; it is just something that was easily beng ripped of ME. By you (guys).

I've forgiven, not like I've forget.

I just wna love again.

2009-12-31T08:08:00.000-08:00

Hello 2010, hope we'll be good friends yeah?

My 80th post, *celebrates.

2009-12-31T00:08:00.001-08:00

Man! i feel like a woman.

Dad

2009-12-30T23:39:00.000-08:00

You dont think your life is a one man show do you?

Like Every possible decision is made by you. Every possible damn situation, you've always been right. Every possible fault was other's and never yours. Every possible show has always been about you. Every possible favour you ask of me, always has it flaws. Every possible thing that i did for YOU has never been appreciated. Every possible thing i do has always been wrong.

You never gave me the chance to do my best. You never gave me the oppurtunity to explain my self. You never gave me the light to shine. You never gave me faith fr me to hold on. You never gave me dreams as a little girl. What more now. You never show me really of what its like to be a part of you. I've never really felt like im even part of this. Or maybe i did. It'll surely been some quite time since then.

I may not have brought you much pride. But im proud to have lived this life that many would claimed a bad dream. At least i thought im blessed. That's more than enough for me. At least, still do. I dont need to hear what other's got to say, it dont really bloody mean anything to me. Especially when it comes from you.

Why can't you be like other's?

Please.

2009-12-30T08:45:00.000-08:00

Got my wurls. Awsum!

Probably, you've never thought of this. And probably, you may have thought of this but you must have forgot what its like to think about this. And most probably, you wanted to think about this, but its just that you dont feel that this is necessary. And OMG, probably, this was there all along, but you are scared to think about this. And SHIT, probably, you dont want to think about this because you're afraid that you're gna get into trouble.

But i know one thing for sure. I've always thought about this. I think of this all the time. When im up when im down, when im alone when i have company, when im high when im low. When i want to. When i need to. When i have to. I've always been thinking of this. Through day night. Through rain shine. Through easy hard. It has always been in my mind.

I know. It is my job to think about this. It's not like im being paid. Im being tasked to.

Coz i know right from the start, once I've start thinking about you, i cant stop bby.

People claimed that we are not meant for each other. I love Him, dearly. Nothing's gna change that. Not even friend-ships.

2009-12-18T08:44:00.000-08:00

Getting Ready to meet luv.

2009-12-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

" Bie, write me a song! By tmrw"

"I try eh sayang! :O i love you!"

*giggles. winks to Athira

2009-12-18T05:53:00.000-08:00

This is what i do every night at 9pm.

Current update: This drama is about six families living together in a small house. As you can see how they dress in the picture above ^, this drama adopts the 60s to 70s surrounding and its just fantastic! The casts, especially Jeanette Aw (as some of you guys may remember her from little nyonya), was simply Great. What sticks you to your TV is the storyline of course. Simple, not draggy! shows deep meaning of friendship and love! You guys should really check it out! Since Ive started watching this, ive became a happy gal every 9pm. Awesome.

Athira and Khairi is coming home today.
Faisal is going to KL today.

Issint this exciting?

2009-12-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

So you see, ACTION SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS. That's what most people said? I guez so.

It was raining one Wednesday and so i looked out the window. Reached out my hand to feel the fifteen degree raindrops. Rain has always reminded me of what its like to be free. I was still playing with raindrops when i saw a lady who was dashing across the pathway with her (approximately) 3 year old daughter. See, the thing that caught my eyes was the thing that was in her hands. Umbrella, most of you would have thought. I wish she had bring one, so both of them do not have to get wet. She was holding up her bag on her head to protect her(self) from the rain. Probably that was one quick smart move. Her bag was big enough to at least cover her head. The sad thing was, her daughter was very much like not covered at all. She was there, right beside her. Walking quickly under the rain. Mother's head was covered. Daughter's head was barely protected. So people said action speaks a thousand words. So tell me how this could have speak a thousand word? it speaks at least a million stories. She could have chose to protect her daughter. Why didn't she?

And the rain was heavy, mind you.

2009-12-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

Haha okay this is just cool.

2009-12-15T02:35:00.000-08:00

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN: I simply don't know where to start. Given it settings and scenes and storyline and plot and everything, it just deserves more than 10 out of 10. I mean come on, it is one of the best war movies ever (and still). A definitely must watch. Even if its not your cup of tea, war, action, drama, i bet this one will make your jaws drop. Few scenes made me cry. A lot of scenes made me want to pee. But most of the scenes just amazed me. Like how my Amath teacher would put it; "Jaws drop, eye pop put, tonight cannot sleep". It definitely took my breath away. Awesome. and they have goodlooking casts! I've always loved men in uniform!

Another war movie you guys should see is THE LAST SAMURAI. They fight using arrow and horses. I rate that 10/10.

Oh oh if you love thrillers, WATCH ORPHAN! Grab your boyfriends along, cause this one is scary.

2009-12-14T22:23:00.000-08:00

High School Musical 4; East meets West.

I was googling and yahooing about the most randomest thing that you could ever think of. I came across this and It totally spoiled my day. I mean, Disney is working on another musical and i guess that is something one must be happy aboout. But the thing is, Vanessa and Zac will not be in it. I know, depressing. They have like a whole new casts. I can't even imagine what it'll be like. Oh god. The point is, when you got so used to watching someone on tv, you just want more of them. High School Musical without the couple, is just a nightmare. Okay lets all prepare ourselves for the worst ):

2009-12-14T01:59:00.000-08:00

Bandslam: If you're thinking of watching Vanessa kissing some other guy besides Zac Efron, then you have to watch this. It's nice, not much because of the kissing thing, but it talks a lot about Friendship. How real it is and how one person can totally dig their way through yourself and get that talent out of you. The talent that you didnt even knew you had. Storyline wise, it just gets in to you. Loved the finale, the music and stuff. DO WE DO WE DO WE DO WE!

2009-12-13T22:37:00.000-08:00

Up; Sweet storyline with incredible settings and character. Touched by how much he loves his wife. Must-watch for people who really has nothing better to do. A lot of sweet moments here and there.Russel was soooo cute! I like the fact that his face is big and his nose and eyes only covers about a quarter of his face. And his backpack. And OH for those who just adores helium and balloon, you may give this a try. I felt like a 4 year old watching this. You just cant stop yourself from claping your hands when the balloon pops. A.W.E.S.O.M.E

2009-12-13T04:39:00.000-08:00

You're gna go Msia and come back on Friday.
Come back faster.

So these are the disadvantages about Holidays. I mean it creates time for people to meet and bond. But at the same time, it just creates holes in between relationship. Even though you feel that you're close to that someone, in actual fact there's just something about them you dont really know yet. School allows us to meet friends 5 days in a week. Holidays doesnt. You may think you're spending enough time with your bestfriends, but as a matter of fact you dont. You may feel that you've done a lot to get a relationship/friendship/kinship going, but it's never enough. You never know if your mother is in some financial difficulties unless they tell you. And they will tell you only if they want to. What if they refuse to tell anyone? You never know your girlfriend is seeing another guy unless you caught them. And that will only happen if god wants you to caught them. What if god doesnt want to? You never know your daughter has been skiping tuition to meet her boyfriend, unless you ask the tutor. And you would only ask the tutor when it crossed your mind. Tell me the possibilities of it even crossing your mind on a bright sunny thursday. Now, you tell me when is the last time you had a trashing talk with your bestfriend, telling them about everything wrong that you have done? You tell me when ws the last time you ever had a proper conversation with your dad talking about your future? You tell me when was the last time you ever told anyone about what you did yesterday?

Mummy was right, communication is the key to a smooth relationship.

You knew i was here all along.

2009-12-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

"KAMI BUDAK PASIR RIS DARI KOREA INGIN MENGUCAPKAN SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA"

One of the things we did in Korea was to celebrate Hari Raya Haji without family or sheeps. I remember clearly what my dad said over the phone, "Kalau boleh, papa nak semua pergi Korea and sambut raya kat sana, " which eventually caused me to cry. And now, not tht i wna cry over the fact we missed Raya, but because I wished 7 days hadnt be THAT fast. We bonded and had fun. Who would have knew that i would be able to ride on the fastest and highest wooden roller coaster if it hadnt been for them. Love each and every single one of Korea Family. <3

Though I'm glad I'm back, at least i gta meet Ri!

2009-11-22T05:27:00.000-08:00

This is like prolly last minute but

I'm going korea!

okay this is for Khairi.

Take care of yourself alright. Dont miss any meals tht u rarely do. Main game tu dont get to carried away. Jangan lupa mandi malam. If you ever going out, bring your minyak kapak! I love you so much okaaaaaaay!

*hugs.

IM GNA MISS SPORE! *cries

2009-11-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

L to R; Dayana, Athira, Am, Luke.

Swear to god that;

Im looking forward for Saturday cause I'm gna go shopping with sister at Bugeese.
Khairi called me, 'Ibu!' when we wanted to get my attention. (not deliberately tho)
I'm going Korea in 9 days.
I've got 284000 plus wons!
My younger sister calls Khairi, Super Apek.
I owe Athira $1.80
I wanted to give Khairi 3 more chops but he doesnt know it yet. I bet he'll be excited.
I dont want to do solo malaydance moves for Korea. But durn, i hve to do it anw.
I wish people will open their eyes and GET THINGS RIGHT.
I want Khairi's b.p.

He just wont let me have it.

Tak suka again

2009-11-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

You've got it all.

What have we got?

We've got stares.
We've got cold.
We've got humiliated.
We've got isolated.

But as MJ's big admirer, i shall love and appreciate what we've got now.

We've got princesses that saves the day.

and I've got a prince that is called a beast. (HAHA)

And girl, It's nt nice to be walls.

unless you're like the little kids in downfall that dont mind being treated in anyway as long as you hold on to the oath tht Hitler makes you do.

I miss those times too, babe.

"Kalau melayu, bebual ah"

Tadi bored, so..

2009-10-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

SOOOOO, i was bored just now. Oinge got npcc, Bimbo got AEM. Not that many people was online. BUT sister was free to take some shots with me.

So i was like, "Syg, S.I! "

And he was like, "Nono, its Ri! (i knw you talking about idol. Hahahaha)".

So i was like, " :O okay :O"

Personally, i thought that S.I is getting frm watchable to unwatchable. GOOOD singers go, and not so deserving people stays. Huda is outttttt. Like, daaaaaaaaaaaaaarn. Now all tht i look forward to is Tabitha and Suzairi. Like, daaaaaaaaaaarn. The theme is getting from boring to boooooooooooooooring. Like, daaaaaaaarn. Omg Faizal Isa is singing THAT THG YOU DO. haha.

So today was like question and answer day with Dayana Ruzaini Syazana Alifah and Khairi. Some questions that was asked was, "If your boyf is an animal, what would you want him to be and why? " :O "What will you expect in your proposal?" "what will be the best part in your marriage? " "If you're given a chance to do anythg bad without getting any sin, what wil it be?" "Whats the sexiest thg you've ever done?". Answers? JENG JENG JENG.

Aww, Athira should have been in the circle. She wont be even answering the questions, she'll be asking what the questions meant. HAHA. Miss you bimbs.

I mcm nak makan laksa kat QI JI!

Hope

2009-10-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Shower, is the best time for you to lose yourself. Hope has always been there, i just want to be reminded of its presence. I love you.

Have you?

2009-10-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

Thank You korea friends for the support eyyyyyyyyyyyy. Nervewrecking sey buat speeeeeech. Mizx Athira, tak suka you going AEM lah, however, Dayana and Syazana is the best jiwang singers eveerrrrr.

Have you ever felt like the world seems so unfair?

So this is what my ustazah said, the more you think that the world seems so unfair, the more unfair it will be to you, the more unfair people you will meet, the more unfair treatment you will get, the more unfair looks you will receive. So what do you do when you feel like you're at the losing end and it is so unfair to you? Call your Ustazah.

Have you ever felt like your friend is giving you the cold shoulders?

So this is what my dad said. When a friend gives you a smile that barely lasts for 1 second, it means that he/she is not happy with you. When a friend is in need of a pencil, but he/she did not asked it from you, it does not mean that you're pencil stinks, just that they want you to know that they've got problems to settle with you. When a friend rolls their eyes to you, do not give them eyemo, they just want to tell you that they're way better than you are. So what do you do when your friend is giving you the cold shoulder? Call your dad.

Have you ever felt like your boyfriend is loving you less?

So this is what my doctor said. Recently, there have been an increasing number of girls coming to him, complaining about their regular migraine, nose bleeding, throwing up after every meals, stomach pain, never-ending flu and the paper cuts that hurts so badly. The doctor did thorough health check up but it seems that these girls are healthier than his pet dog. So when he wanted to write down the prescriptions, these girl would ask him for MC. "Doc, i think i need a a one week MC or better you just send me to the hospital. My dardar would then believe that I'm sick and will love me more." So what do you do when you feel like your boyfriend is loving you less? Call your doctor.

Have you ever felt like everything seems so fake?

So this is what I'm saying. When a friend said she's scared. Get your darn arms and wrap it around her. Tell her, everything's gna be back just the way you want it. When a friend said she's sad. Get your darn phone and call her. Tell her that the world will look so painfull with so many people like her, frowning. When a friend said she's pissed. Get your darn fingers and brush them through her hair. Tell her, if you're gna be pissed then it will be like eating strawberries without chocolate. Dont just text her and merely type, "I'm here". So what do you do when your friend does not seem to mean their words? Call me.

And I'll bit the sincerity out of their lungs.

Let's settle down into something that both of us is comfortable with. Let's save up these tears for a better use next time. Let's find that thing that will keep us going. Just assure me that we are meant to be. Give me hope.

Luv Khairi! Khalis kata dia mimpi kte go honeymoon. Awesome kan!

J.co

2009-10-20T02:49:00.001-07:00

Apparently we went J.co after korea dance practise. It was nice, we talked and catched up with whats going on. We bought a dozen donutssss and each of us has three. Korea dance practise was FAST but all of us got the hang of it. and AW, kai zhi not going to korea with us ): Bang Ngah and me was like trying to run away from teachers but it seems like they were everywhere. He was wearing fancy shorts and im wearing coloured socks. haha CHOP!

To whoever whatever, i so didnt bloody die my hair.

K i got pissed ONCE just now, all thanks to you. Ah omg, gna present to sec 2 cohort bout Korea this monday (eh?). And wednesday ada IMT! yay time to meet my gals. AW tadi met kawan senior spec course. Miss yall.

Oinge, happy one year and one month of texting. You never fail to make me happy with your silly texts k. Luv ya.

Bollywood

2009-10-18T06:02:00.000-07:00

Apparently, i went to a wedding. Yes the theme was bollywood. Enjoyed myself, pretty well. Even tho i have no indian blood, but i like wearing those punjabi. Selamat Pengantin baru to Abg Syafie and Kak Iqah. Ey cousins, should do this often ehhh. Joget Jaihoooo.

So, im going movies tmrw, suka tau!

Tak suka

2009-10-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

Apparently, we had Raya outing.

"SILVER SEY SILVER SEY SILVER SEY grey lah"

Situasi manakah yang lebih menyedihkan?

A) Dikhianati

B) Ditipu

C) Dipulaukan

Want this

2009-09-28T01:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, waaaaaaaaaant curls seyyy.

Congrats 3E5 for winning the inter-class debate! Syimah, yay! And Dayana and Athira, come school and take away Yazsar from me. His fart stinks. Okay! *Pinch Ri

Raya

2009-09-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya means:

Hari Raya Aidilfitri (also seen as Hari Raya Idul Fitri and Hari Raya Puasa, literally "Celebration Day of Fasting") is the Malay term for the Muslim festival of Eid ul-Fitr. Hari Raya is also known as Lebaran. Muslims in Brunei, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore and the Philippines celebrate Eid like other Muslims throughout the world. The term "Hari Raya" literally means "Day of Celebration" — it is also occasionally used to refer to Eid ul-Adha in the form of "Hari Raya Aidiladha". The main greeting used by Muslims in Malaysia and Singapore is "Selamat Hari Raya" which means "Happy Eid" in Malay. Another greeting is "maaf zahir dan batin" which translates loosely to "I seek forgiveness (from you) physically and spiritually", for Hari Raya is a time to reconcile and renew relationships with others.

10 things ppl do during Raya:

1/ They seek forgiveness from each other.

2/ They give the younger ones Raya money (usually 2-10 dollars, but for people like Tira, they got 100 bucks)

3/ They admire each other's Raya baju

4/ and for me, i admire at their toilets, and planning what mine will be like when i have my own home.

5/ They count lap lip lights in each block

6/They'll usually try their best to finish up ppl's kuih at every visit.

7/ Girls will wear big earings and see whose is the heaviest.

8/You'll see a lot of high heels by the road. (usually from girls who gave up wearing them halfway)

9/Wear contact lens.

10/ or even die their hair BLACK.

So how's your Raya?

I was jealous, a man had proposed to her before i did. She went to a party. I met her at malaysia, she wasnt really sober. I asked her why. Her answer hurt me. I told her that i felt hurt. She laughed. My heart shattered. It was as though she didnt care for me. Her heart was not all mine as my heart was all hers. I couldnt bear this grieve. I had no choice but to go away and leave my shattered heart with her, it was still all hers. I couldnt take my mind off her. I kept thinking abt how my heart hurt so badly. But i also kept thinking about how much i miss my lover. Theres a part of me that wants to forgive her. But its hard to forget. What she has done to me, wounded me much deeper than any blade could. Should i meet her? Maybe. But im not sure. Suddenly i received a text. Meet me by the tree, it said. So i went. There, i saw her. She noticed me and went to me. She hugged me and whispered 5 words that brought me to tears, "I love you so much". She has no idea how much those words meant to me. I can never stay angry towards her. I love her. At that point she said to me, " Bby, close your eyes. Lets be kids again." I found it impossible bit i was amazed. Right in front of me, there stood my lover, as a child. I close my eyes, and took a few steps. The light got brigher.. She passed me somethng. It glowed. She returned me my heart, all fixed and perfect. She took my hand and we walked towards the moon. I was still in love, and i'll always be.

A dream is a wish your heart makes.

Love per.

2009-09-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

20 september, 1 year text.

Mintak kene pinch right.

Topic: Sentence structures

Task: Continue the sentence

Questions: Every now and then, i try to remember....?

Answer: how many nails i have.

Apple crumble

2009-08-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

Apple Crumble

Ingredients

750 g apples, peeled and sliced

90 g powdered sugar

90 g all-purpose flour, sifted

60 g butter

whipped cream or ice cream (optional)

Directions

1/Divide the sliced fruit into 2 equal portions.

2/Place one portion in a glass baking dish and sprinkle half of the powdered sugar over it, and then cover with the second portion of apples.

3/In another bowl, run the butter into the flour with your fingertips until it resembles fine bread crumbs.

4/Stir the remaining sugar into it and mix well.

5/Sprinkle this crumble mixture evenly over the top of the fruit and press down lightly with your fingertips.

6/Bake in preheated oven at 175 degrees celcius (347 degrees F) for 55 minutes.

7/Serve warm with whipped cream or ice cream.

Zseick ):

2009-08-02T02:13:00.000-07:00

MC for 28/07/09 to 31/07/09.

Wish 3E7 will get well soon and may lessons will be back as per normal.

Feel so sick D:

Lupa

2009-07-19T01:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, even the smallest thing you frgot to do, set you thinking fr awhile.

I frgot to off the fan before heading to school.

I frgot to close the lights before going to sleep.

I frgot to take off my lens and bring it to sleep.

I frgot to put my clothes in the washing machine and left a huge pile of them at the side of the room.

I frgot to close the caps to my markers and let it dry.

I frgot to charge my laptop and wonder why i cant On it.

I frgot to close the lead of the biscuit tin and made dad furious.

I frgot to put on glasses and squint my eyes.

I frgot to bring thermometer to school.

I frgot to clean up my mess after eating.

But nothing hurts more than

Forgetting was its like, to be happy.

Little favour

2009-07-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson - Heal The World

Think about the generations and to say we want to

make it a betterworld for our children and our children's children.

So that they know it's a better world for them;

and think if they can make it a better place

There's a place in your heart

And I know that it is love

And this place could be much

Brighter than tomorrow.

And if you really try,

You'll find there's no need to cry

In this place you'll feel

There's no hurt or sorrow.

There are ways to get there

If you care enough for the living

Make a little space, make a better place.

Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me

and the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make a better place for

You and for me.

If you want to know why

There's a love that cannot lie

Love is strong

It only cares for joyful giving.

If we try we shall see

In this bliss we cannot feel

Fear or dread

We stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always

Love's enough for us growing

Make a better world, make a better world.

And the dream we would conceived in

Will reveal a joyful face

And the world we once believed in

Will shine again in grace

Then why do we keep strangling life

Wound this earth, crucify it's soul

Though it's plain to see, this world is heavenly

Be God's glow.

We could fly so high

Let our spirits never die

In my heart I feel

You are all my brothers

Create a world with no fear

Together we'll cry happy tears

See the nations turn

Their swords into plowshares

We could really get there

If you cared enough for the living

Make a little space to make a better place.

2009-06-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

kayah costume tht i'll be wearing just tht mine is Red

HAPPY NCC DAY!

Soooo, How exciting eh Sue. We're gna go swissotel and be minah-myanmar fr these two days. Amcm, still interested? Wah cramped with AYG. Smpai naik hafal Myanmar states eh. Pastu skg mcm dah bond sama AYG ppl. Memacam kluwaaaaaaaaa part meeting. Qam favoret part;

"TAPI LAST LAST KTE DPT TAHU SHE WAS CHEATING TOO, WITH HER EX BOYFRIEND BEST FRIEND, TOMMMYYYYYY~"

Soooo Minus all the cuttings and pain and the sarcastic laughs, still enjoyed it even tho it took up lotsa time! Smpai jatuh sakit kawwwwwww. tho still had lotsa fun. Tmrw first day, Sue dah ready wash eyes. I blum ready yet ni, blum read up infos, darn. So gna read up, klu tak 2 mins je ): HEHE.

Soooo amcm first day? Mine not bad. Pulang 6.30, nk beat? AYGing gila. Penat kepe. So angkat tu Myanmar flag. Serious, tangan muscle part arms situ yg part bones connected situ, ah yes tht part. seriously seyyyy, sakit. Tapi part diri atas stage, and check outs the audience, wah muka sume cramp, kepanasan. So giggled abit. I feel you man, Hakim. Skali face to the right eh, nmpk tu Nigel muka pucat. So i was like OMG but then OMG HAND PAIN.

Soooo Me Shalihin and Hamzi talked bout Future. Wah pikir jauh eh, trus semuaa plan education memasing. I plan mau go JC. Hamzi tak salah mau Sec 5 eh? And Shasha Fierce mau ITE beh poly. pape, nk wish gluck now. So Goodluck, Koreaaaaaaa ey boys.

Soooo skg nk kasi comment a bit. Tadi watch Fighting Spiders beh mcm touched pasal Yi Ling and Soon Lee. Mcm awwww so sweet. Skali Yi Ling gna marry Ah Huat. i know, wth. cant wait fr the ending kz. Ah man, seriously mcm nk guna iSqueeze beh squeeze me-self into the tv and sepak Simon's Face. So MEAN. So right now watching Jihan. Jihan suka run ey? Tak lari, nangis. Hobby kot, favoret past times. Cute eh? Jom nangis.

Soooo now, kena buat hw pastu pack fr tmrw and go to sleep. Gta hit the train tmrw at 6.30 A.M. Gna meeeeet Khalishah Ri Ikan and Koh tmrw at city hall. eh dah mula excited sih. Bsok mesti makan Bandito jom.

MEH

Sayang kai-zer.

Genting.Sunway.PortDickson

2009-06-21T22:39:00.000-07:00

Swaaaaaaaay-ng

i'll be rocking in peace

breakfast

L-ladies.

G-girls

Sunwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Mummy-ssiz

Flying Coaster

Digi

Sunset

Port Dickson

You you

Space shot

hhh-heads

Zx Family

3-2-1

Suggestion Well

Check outz.

Cmon, no school fr me. Yucks.

Cakes Bakin, Helium Talking, Minah speaking

2009-05-20T05:58:00.000-07:00

Haha gosh thanks Farah, Zaini anf Ri fr making me forgot everything and i enjoy tdaaaaaay lots kkkkkkz. Love all those, "OMG KHAIRI YOU'RE TAKING FOREVER TO WASH IT!" and the "YG PALING BNYK BUAT BENDA IS LIKE AM, ZAINI AND RI JE EHHHHHHHHH" and "Stoppit seyyyy (4y) " and "chill chill apple" and "post it!". kk simply love tday! So this is how the cake turn out -pics. And omg so sorry k Zaini's daddy. But my mom said i cant! Booo. haha. Just love the helium balloon MEYYYYYN. and Mei is zo funny lah. haha some toddler thought tht she ws giving out th balloons fr free and asked her fr one. Haha! And the FZAK make the best choc cake. Awesome. So highlights are;

1. Lunch at macd and talked abt ghost? haha

2. Waited fr bus at the wrong bus stop

3.Zoom of to Zaini's hse

4. Start mixing thgs and baking

5. Wash wash wash

6. Trying to beat white eggs to make icing

7. Decorateeeeeeee it

8. Packed it

9. Post it

10. Deliver it - heliummmmmmmm

11. Dinner at macd w sistersz

Ah, love mei lots and Zaini. (yay)

HAPPY ADVANCED BDAY TO MY SOULJAH BBYGAL AND BRAAAAAM~

HAPPY 8 MONTHS TEXTING

I wna grow old with you

Grow old with you

2009-05-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Grow old with you

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

Thank You <3

"I got a secret confession. The song i sang was meant fr you."

Sorry that you have none.

2009-05-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

Life dont come by easy, dont waste it suckas. Oh wait, i bet you dont even have one. Have guts to spam, then have one to use yr name. Typicality of people who doesnt own any life.

Back and Happier

2009-05-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

K, so mid year examinations are coming soon and i cant possibly got my hand on the computer. Im currently at the school computer lab and chatting with some irritating guys.

So, All the best for fr MYE yall.

Mai Sheng: "Omg Ameera is blogging"

Okay, take care. Yes FRH back for one day.

LOVE YOU BEEBEEWHY.

ps; I am Happy-er.

When the night seems long.

2009-03-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over." -Anonymous

When friends seems far,
When life seems shaky,
When dreams seems impossible,
When future seems near,
When night alone seems long,
When sleeps seems shorter,

Ameera just wants everything to slows down, please.

Being placed in a situation and positioned in a place where you have to console someone that is about to cry, what would you do? Will you stand there and bury yr face in both yr hands. Will you take their hands and swing it from right to left hoping that that will hold back their tears. Will you take yr boots, if you have one, and cover yrselves with them, wishing that it could somehow save you. Or will you place yr little short fingers and brush them through their hairs. You'll do none of the above, cause all you'd care then is to make them stop. Which i wasnt able to.

Being placed in a situation and positioned in a place where you wna tell a person you love them, what would you do? Will you take their phones and type the words of love and give it back to them, hoping that they'll read it? Will you compare your little hand to theirs trying to tell them they're loved? Will you mess up their hair and let them know we still love them, however they look like. Or will you worry through out the night and wont be able to contact them and hoping that they would understand. You'll do none of the above, cause all you'd care then is to let them know they're loved. Which i wasnt able to.

Even so, i want you to still bear one thing in mind.

I LOVE YOU.

M'girls

2009-03-29T00:11:00.001-07:00

This specially goes to Suhaila, Farah, Amirah and Sabrina.

Through thick and thin we have been,
Through ups and downs we have gone through,
Through fun and hardship we have been together,
You girls are still the ones i remember most at the end of the day.

You girls are the reson why i should still hold on,
You girls are the reason why i should still go on,
You girls are the reason why i should still move on,
You girls are the reason why i should still live on.

Let us go through this togther,
Let us go through this together, smoothly
Let us go through this together, smoothly, strongly
Let us go through this together, smoothly, strongly,lovingly

Farah, that girl that have been there for me
Suhaila, that girl that have gone through a lot with me
Amirah, that girl that have grown so much
Sabrina, that girl that have changed a lot.

Thanks Girls, thank you.

Shall we move together hand in hand and do our thing?

BACK-IN-ACTION!

2009-03-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

" Its is during troubled times like these that people see straight, though others watch with concern and try to convince them they cant. Weighted minds are just so bcause of all of their new thoughts. When those who have passed through their troubles and come out the other side suddenly embrace their new beliefs wholeheartedly, it is viewed cynicism by others. Why? Because when you're in trouble you look harder for answers than those who arent, and its those answers that help you through. Answers. They are not hidden under the rocks or camouflaged among trees. Answers are right there, in front of your eyes. But if you havent caused to look, then of course you will probably never find them."

Im trying to find the answers, help me.

Okay yay, at last. Im updating. But its gna be a quick one. Cause its friday and ive just got back frm NCC and have yet to shower! (hehe)And the only reason im updating is bcause the comp is right before my eyes and i saw how pathetic my blog is. OMG SO PATHETIC. OKAY! So nowwwwwww, the only thing im looking forward to is PRINCESS DISNEY ON ICE! tommorrow tommorrow 7pm 7pm. So exciting. And 90% of my hols will be spent in Spec Course. yay. Another 10% will soooooo be for homeworks and catch-ups. Okay so this sunday will be Am-tira day! So i wna wish Athirasari an advanced Am-tira day! Love&Hate you so much <3

Okay this will be for Faisal and Heryani. F, happy 15th bday. So big alr, must play more detective game! HEHE. To Heryani, congrats fr the best cadet award and HAPPY BELATED BDAY GIRL! so old alr! Fourteen. I 8 only yknw. hehe.

Okay this go to Qam, Syafiq, Syazanne, Atasha, okay everybody that went to Chinaaa! TAKE CARE YALL! Have funnnnnnnnnnnnn taw~! omg JUNE will be my turn! How exciting.

Okay this go to 3e7! Congrats my ppl fr winning the best class deco. Credits go to fluorence vivien clarice ethel xin er carrie OKAY EVERYONE! Sayang yall lots ok.

Okay this go to Farahmei. Sayang. yknw what i wna say ah k. i just want you to know that we neeeeed you and love you so much! You'll make it thru punya! thanks fr gg thru thick thin with me. to suhaila and amirah toooooo!

Okay this go to teentitans! Girls, thank you so much fr THAT day yaa. I mean, really. i miss you girls so much and ya okay. love you girls so much.

Okay this go to my lunch ppl. Yzsr Dayana Athira-sheng. Thank you guys fr the wonderfull lunches and all the criticsm and the secrets and the makan pinggan moments.

Okay this goes to everyone. I MISS MR. COMPUTER MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! okay dah update eh, takmu complain. okay time to shower.

yay, thank you fr accompanying me and be there for me when i was at my wits end yesterday. thank you fr all the notes and cards. thank you. much appreciated. Ly.

Never die yeh.

2009-01-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

Flickr.com

Life is short. Grandmom often reminds me to recite Syahadah before going to sleep. Reason being that we might not make it through the night. Even though she's left us, the practice still continues. She wanted me to be prepared for death, to join her. She wanted me to remember her, every night before going to sleep. She wanted me to always remember, my root. Its a new year, nek. Its been five year since. I miss you.

Girls, we shall stand hand in hand together and stand strong. We shall catch one another, should one of us fall. We shall lock our arms together and throw away all keys, sticking and never leave. We shall push it to the limit, give our all. We shall love share fight stand strong together. Cause united we are through thick and thin. I love yguys.

Lost in love.

2009-01-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

The thought of losing someone buried deep in your heart, feels like a dagger opening up a thousand wounds.

By Amirul Shazzani

Happy New Year,

Im gna 08 miss real bad. All the fun the drama the plays the scoldings the fights the make ups the moments the singing the shouting the stares the running the sungei bulohing, omg. D: Sure theres gna be alot of difference this year. All of us are like gna be separated frm each other. Sad owhat. The guys are gna be in long pants and im still vry unhappy about their heights. Billy, dont grow so tall can? And i think im gna take some time to adapt to the different subjects. And saying, "my tcher" with bie is so wrong. We're supposed to share the same teacher leh. Uh, so yeah. My zero-nine didnt start to well yeh. How depressing. Positive girl.

Fact is, im scared. I aint want no dagger. I fail everytime i try. I weakened everytime i fail. Im moody when i weakened. I tend to go negative when i moody. I get depressed when i go negative. I cry when i get depressed. I scared pain. Yknw, that one. I hurt you, slap me yeh right. Okay, dik?

okay okay dah stop eh.

woMAN

2008-12-28T02:38:00.000-08:00

*honk
"Apa ni?!?!? Overtake tak bagi signal! laaaah, patutlah! driver pompan".

I dont get it. Pissed, i stuffed my ears with loud screaming music. Thirty four things took a walk in my mind. Angry, i look out the window trying to distract myself. Fifty six things, i saw. Frustrated, i let it out.

"So what if the driver is a lady? you think guys are better drivers. Just because we are ladies, so we are worst drivers. Uh, hello? I dont think that theres such sign as 'Ladies to the left and Guys to the right' when we enter the driving centre. Both ladies and guys took the same freaggin test. Driving test. Its frustrating how all these people have that same mindset. Oh, i supposed bcause all you see in races are F1 cars driven by guys. Guys. Stop trapping yrself just within the black box. Go out and take a better look. There are ladies that get themselves involve in car racing! Like, Samantha and Josephine Grace! They are way better than you guys out there who thinks you're good on the road yet yre not. Some ego. Enough about wheels and driving. How about the fact that womans are now catching up with you guys? Look at the latest presidential election. Sarah Palin. Even though she didnt win big, at least theres a female candidate. What do you see us as huh? Wife. Mother. House chores. Children. Childrens. Housewife. Stay home. Some personal punching bag. A mother to your son. Daughter. Cleaning up. Cook. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Market. Recipes. Sweeping. Worst off, rubbish bin? We're more then just that. We're rich. So, lets go see military schools. okay too far, maybe nearer. Just look at basic drawings of army or soldiers. Have you ever see a girl in camou holdin a riffle? or have you ever heard "Treat yr riffle like yr Husband" ? I supposed not. No, never. Bcause? oh easy. Men are stronger physically! Whatever. And to world, ive one more issue im certainly vry upset about. How can you leave yr mother (the woman whom has given birth to you after a long nine months holding you in her womb, the woman that gave up almost everything just to bring you up, the woman whom has to put up with yr dad so that you wont be brought up without a father, the woman that give her share of dinner without reluctance, in fact with a big smile, feeling great that her son is actually eating happily, the woman that does everything anything just so that you can have a beatiful childhood like any other kid, that woman) just going around in the streets asking strangers for money bcause she got none to buy herslef a food, you left her with no shelter, no protection, no money, no nothing, How in the world do have that heart to do that to yr mother? And there she is, doing everything and anything she could to live. And where were you? Happily eating in some posh restaurants when yr mom is strugling to buy a piece of bread. sigh. So, just let me end this thing with a wish. I wish that one day, every woman in this world is given their rights as a woman as a mother as a driver as a soldier."

Confused, my dad stop insulting ladies since that day, since that weird confession.

sorry to those offended D:

FAVORET!

2008-12-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

If i had three wishes,
i'd wish that i could say anything i want
At anytime
To anyone~

tbich back

2008-12-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

whuzheck ppl nowadays -.-

pack ya things and scram

-slam door

i take no sorry.

you hide i aint gna seek,what for.

you shall stop hearing frm me, for ever.

SICK -.-

Welcome Back Hakim~

Gbye Athira & Ri ):

OMEEGA

2008-11-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

*waves goodbye to Hakim
Have a safe trip duuut!

There must be a reason why ive been sitting in front of the computer screen and do nothing since athira went offline, but i simply cant come out with a reason yet. I wondah why. Perhaps i like stoning. Yes? Yeah. Perhaps stoning allows me to think. Yes? Yeah. I wanted to talk about stoning a second ago and i decided not to anymore. I wondah why. I think its time.

Basically everyday i do nothing except grow fatter. Please friends, do still acknowledge me when we meet along the corridor. Ahh -cries. Omeega, im already forgetting how everyone looks like, What Is this? Help ): Not long ago while i was drinking water, i suddenly thought of Billy Amshire but i became upset cause i frgot how he looks like. Seconds before i imagined him with hairy head, I quickly grabbed my hedgepee and browse thru pictures and sighed. I miss friends.

Lemme list friends,

Sari Shunchine Mama Frh Eatzabella ohgeewhy Kecik Ri Amshire Zeek Yzsr Asher Syapi Jo Syapik Puts Apiq All

I miss how all these people collides and come out with one huge wave eating my life.
Come come wave, eat me.

Shall i knock yr door and ask you out pretty? Shall i lead the dance and call you my beauty? Shall i bring you to the movie? Shal i tuck the chair in fr you my honey? Maybe you do it for me. While i wave goodbye. I'm pretty tired trying. I'm pretty tired being. Shall i stop? Maybe, just maybe. Will you make me smile once more? Im not sure, make me. Im pretty sure all's no difference. Am i wrong? Tell me, in one way or another. I placed you everywhere. In the cracks to tht bin. Well used to. Im using it quite well. Throw in more. I ran, so what? I hide before too. No extreme. No thrill. No nothing. Shall i shave it all? or should i leave it hanging. I look pretty like this. Lets wait fr another while. Meanwhile, lets fly.

Hello pretty. Let's talk about life. Shall i start? sure. I guessed its gna happen soon. What thing? Growing! Somehow i thought i was nine. but looking at the mirror, im sure im older. Ah yes, im fourteen. noticing that i grow every second every minute, i panicked. It has already happened for god sake, I shall stop guessing. Back to time. -faints. I hate ticks and tocks. Lets all timenap. No, lets all pray.

-hug readers

Ya, no shame.

2008-11-22T05:27:00.000-08:00

I'm always behind time! Did you know how many OMG did i said today? i think i said it like 94572650 times. So thank you Amirul fr letting me into yr blog and lemme have the shock of my life, i say again AGAIN, thank you. Tsk, people nowdays. I sad you know. But Im happy im not living under one roof with them. Like terribly Happy. This thing called internet/web/online just gimme alot of surprises and mostly are NEGATIVE ones. I should realy stop calling it 'Surprises' since it's alr been too many of em and it is so no surprising anymore. Last time, it has always been about " Meyyyyyn, i should realy keep it low profile, i got shame". And now its all about, "This is life what, MY life, so heck those ppl, they gt no right over me, i rather lose my dignity". And whoev ppl reading this should be gg somehow like, "What the Heck Ameera, Loser! ". Yeah, imma loser, stating facts. They can easily put anything, everything up all over, everywhere but fr sure they'll note it somewhere: This is MY life so ya whatever. Ya right whatever.

Sure its been a busy week this week. Student Leader Camp was AWESOME. "Incredibles is AWESOME, Incredibles is HOT". Ive got so many to talk abt it ah like so many! hehe but just lemme talk about the appropriate and necessary things. HAHA. Okay, favoret part was the running frm rain. Favoret activity was butt shift thing something idk. Favoret thing is tht i made new friends and the bond btw us FUH. Ya Congrats to Syatirah only (sp?) fr getting the tittle as ' Ms. Superhero' :D

Okay lets talk about today, shall we? I love my mother, i love my mom, i love my mommy, i love my mama, i love my ibu, i love this person called mother, i love this person whose name is Sarinah which is my mother and i love mommy. Thank You so much mommy fr Today! I GOT A NEW PORANGER PJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i cant wait to show it off to Amirul and Ri. hehe.

YAY! (balloons)

And Congrats to Khairi Yahya for being the best male camper :)

YEH!

2008-11-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever feel very dissappointed?

Of course i have. When those times when i thought i could do it, when those times my hopes gets too high, when those times i was very excited and almost pee in my pants. Ah, all those moments (': but it wont turn out very nice if what i hoped for, what i wished for or what i wanted totally gets destroyed in any ways. My hopes, my wishes, my desire, my needs, my wants all rejected. Especially when they have to take it away frm me. Especially when they turn their back on me. Especially when they stepped and kicked it. Especially when they look at me with that insulting eyes. Especially when they isolated me. When i realised my hopes were flying away too far and i gta jump to catch it back, i know frm tht moment, i cant get it back. When it was in my hands, its my fault to have let it go. And also when i realised what im talking or typing doesnt make sense at all. It realy hurts ):

i realy wna post longer but im outta words.

Finally finally finally out of words D:

2008-11-04T23:30:00.000-08:00

YAY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FbPJQqhQB8

2008-11-02T06:08:00.001-08:00

A is for awesome! says:
AMEERA IS PRETTIER THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD! IN THE UNIVERSE! IN THE MILKY WAY!

2008-11-02T04:54:00.000-08:00

KITE RUNNER.

ahh yes yes mesti watch ni story! (btul tak tiragirl19994?) hehehehehehehe. okay THANK YOU you all fr the wishes, presents, countdowns, hugs and surprises. I LIKE SIOWWWWWWW! so 3 more hours the day tht i lived for, ends. And next i'll live for 2nd nov 09. LIFE. i malas nak update ah you, so smpai sini. dah dah!

(thank you Ri, Ahmad and Tiragirl ^^)

2008-10-24T19:14:00.000-07:00

" Brother Jerry ada girlfriend eh? "

*giggles

"Saya tak suka sape sape, saya suka Allah"

Everythings happening too fast.

2008-10-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

Ah yes. I dont like. Whenever i want holidays, they gimme exams. When i wna get my fingers movin, they gimme holidays. I dont like. Holidays. I've got one hell of tight schedule this Hols. Prpdays, me-alonedays, me-compdays, me-birthdays, familydays and helldays. Okay nonot tht tight. Not as tight as skinnies. Or nowadays hoodies, or my psch shorts. or even tht tightness in this chess. T-I-G-H-T, spell tht right ppl. its almost the same as right, but the R is replaced by T. get it ? bcause it is so tight thts why i just cant seem to get it right and the light is shining on me. (i knw! it doesnt makes any sense) idc.

Have you ever just have this tiny winy anty bitsy feeling of wanting to fly? YES?! omgggg, same !heeeee. ive always wanted to fly. I wna go mooon plus stars plus sky plus giving the ozone layer panadol and lotsa protein! and then i go up up to the universal clock and stop its neeeedles. okay not stop it, but slows it down. Actually, ive a plan. Theres a way tht i knw, tht could actually could really help me fly. Plan A: break my youngah sista tooth, place it under my pillow, act sleep, tooth fairy come, i trap her, take her wings. Backup Plan: actually idk. so hopefully, i could get my wings by First November !

Lately, ive beeen getting weird dreams. Yes, its dry. And each dreams tells a different story. Weird, ive a feeling its trying to tell me smth! Dont laugh but i think god's trying to tell me not to be a soldier when i grow up! eeeeyer, seramzackex! ): and yknw dejavus? I dont like. and im reading a boook about it. I dont like.

Holidays coming. Let's ALL say NO.

Tomolo is 15th of October. Its athira-ameera Day. ey Lady, yknw you're irreplaceable and yknw you're the only bitch tht i could eva trust. and yknw hw much gue sayang loh kanz? because ilymthmylm! heaaarts ah.

Sometimes you didnt even realise you fell.

2008-10-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

I love Mother and Father ! (:

i know, its been so long since i update. and im so not in the mooood to bloggg. so yeaaaaa. Selamat Hari Raya to all and celebrate the end of exams yall. Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ! <3

2008-09-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

I know you wna know whats going on.
Actually, nothings going on.

I missed saturday class because of something important.
I went to Geylang bazaaar and was lost for many hours and met mok.
I did something to my hair and its painful !
Im texting many many and noww my fingers are muscular.
I mugged for eoy but still got 38 more chapters to go.
I went back to Easr Spring Primary School and i almost cried !
I recieved the most _______ picture sent by someone, hilarious i say.
I love my raya baju this year, its green.
Im still bugging my dad to buy the lap lip light asap cause someone just have to show off theirs !
Im on the computer even though tmrw is eng sa2.

IM IN LOVE WITH LIFE <3

2008-09-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

Lemme do it here. Im sorry about the ATTITUDE ive been giving you. Im sorry to be ur worst BURDEN for now. Im sorry im sucha BITCH among ur bitches. Ive hear what you gta say. Yes, it freaggin HURT me. but PARDON ME, lets push it till oey its over. ive got ALOT to say. one EMAIL or post wont be enough i say. you can BITCH about me for all you want. cause i wont CARE much. SORRY if this is hurt you. but WHATEVER.

noone changed, not me. you may think its all about you. but have you thought of me ? maybe i didnt. ugh.

2008-09-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

Friday was good.

Maths test was ridiculous. I lost about 10+ marks. Ncc training was great, bonded with farahfarahCHAN <3 like never before, talk shits out and guess what. Im going to adventure camp. Muahahaha. 5 was choosen out of 16. Congrats to farah,kecik,amirah and seri. Even though it was fasting, we din slacked. Was half dead YES but we endure. I have problem in holding back my laughter. ish. Mooncake festival was fun. BreakFats together forever was awesome. I feel so great being a muslim. Prayed together, though everyone looks so hilarious, i still suceed in completing three rakaats without laughing. Shunchine <3 and me did our duets. yknw yknw that thing we do. Played small fish, big fish. I knew i could win that thing but cikgu asked us to stop ! ]: but i had lotsa fun. Bby <3 went home so fast, i din even realised she was gone ! so sad. Went home with billy terimalah, bitched like never before eh! you go boy. I dont want it either. ): Ive to say this week was full of checking * with syimski <3 hehehehe.

Saturday was relaxing.

Momma bought this thing meant for people to feel calm when inhaling it. not drugs -.- this aroma therapy thing. Its proven to work. Ive put aside saturday for maths class, syimski's unlucky day ! hahahaha, and the rest of the day meant to spent with momma. My mother. She's been working 5 days a week and we only have weekend to spare. So we breakfast at Food culture where i met lotsa people. I met Hakim :D and yan. eheh. Mummy bought icesream for us and we sat down at the cafe and lick like never before.

Im unhappy about certain things. Very unhappy. D:

and now im on a very important game against faisal in checkers. bismillah.

2008-09-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

Greetings yall.

Today, im going to break fast at my aunty's house. We're celebrating my nephew's birthday and at the same time, we're having a gathering. I'm looking forward to it because i'll be meeting my dearest cousins and i love them. However, if i choose to go to the gathering, i'll be missing camprock because its premier is today at 7.30pm. I'm a little bit upset but somehow excited. I havent complete my homework. I'm left with science. I dont know how to do it, it is so fustrating. Currently, i'm watching 'Finding Nemo'. It is a nice movie with a nice storyline. I like the character; 'Dory', she is a nice fish. I like the scene when she sings, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. " That scene was adorable and addictive.

I miss alot of people. and i miss alot of things. I miss my black jeans that has been missing for 3 weeks. I miss running to the kitchen to turn off the gas when the kettle is whistling hard because my father decided to use the flask. I miss scolding my handphone for capturing lousy photos because i got a new camera in hand. I miss alot of people because many of them changed. I miss me .

You got everyone. You got the nicest family of all, you got the biggest circle of good friends. You must be the nicest person in the world. Everyone loves you. You can get along well with almost everyone. But you've never spared me. No matter how hard i've tried, you'd be the same. You take all of them away from me. I hate it.

HARI RAYA, HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

2008-09-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

forgodsakepleasestoplyingtoeveryonecomaitdoesntdoesanythinggoodtoanyone!
Uh, this post will be filled with things you nvr wna read. Really.

First, i wna aplogise to Haziq cause i miss his name on the last two post. Yes, i went swimming with him too. Sorry kaaau ! Second, i asure you this post not gna be draggy and it'll be boring and short. You wna know why? no reasons actually. I cant be bothered to post, but somehw, i just WANT to post. I missed project runway yesterday and i feel like calling up channel 5 and ask them to play it once more. i feel so restless cause i missed segaris sinar last episode. you know how frustrating it is to follow up every week and missed the ending. Its freaggin irritating. And since its ramadhan, i realy think i should cut down on the sias, sials, cbs and fcuks. I miss farah and NCC so much that i think i wont mind going thru hell training just to be with them. And so, im actually looking forward to watch CAMPROCK this sunday which noone seems to be interested in, i think. well, I swear i hate this falling falling thing. It's not working for me, you , him, her, them, they, everyone.

Im sorta pissed.

2008-09-03T23:37:00.001-07:00

Woooo ~ love younger sisters. old picture.

so currently, im thinking future. who's gna be my future husband eh ? When will i die ? Whats my Os results gna be like ? When im 18, will they introduce NS to ladies? will i ever have a laptop for my own? whats my children's name ? is there gna be 2? or 7 childrens ? will teen titans would have last that long ? will i even notice athira and would i even recognise her ? wait, would i even live that long ?

heee, so besides thinking about me in 2025, im actually kinda addicted to games. not any kind of games-computer games. not any type of computer games, but solving mysteries computer games. and know what ? I got faisal to be addicted to them too. muahahahaha. and now he's grumbling for more. -.- and now he's gone to cut his hair and im certainly gna laugh my ass off upon looking at his haircut. last year, "asal kau nye rambut buruk nah?" see how evil i can get? hehehehehe. chapapa~

and nooow, music. haiyaaaa, khairi, thanks alot. im stuck with Isabella ! can you believe it. retrooo. i still remembered, my father singing isabella on my cousin wed. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. i din know tht father can pull his voice that much. awesome father! Diaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Isabellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

Ramadhan. I knowwww~ its like (theOHMYGAWD! sound) im handling it quite well. i guess. but this hunger have been holding me back frm everything. ive yet to start on my homeworks. YESS, i knooow ! uhhh. i dont plan to start on any. can i have a longer holiday pleaaaaaase. this is baaaaad. i miss waffles ):

Messenger!plus. weeeeee~ thanks la faisal-kun/faisal-san? yes, ive a confession. i just downloaded messenger plus ytd. haha, thts how slow i can get. rabak kaaan ?! and now im like fooooling around with the sexy features. butt maaan, nernernernernerner butt maaaan. favourite - internet is for porn, internet is for porn. fuuuuh, tu favourite siaaa. and the linking conversations didnt made my day, eh syimah ? paisey siaaa. hehehe. and this messenger magician is cute ? but irritating. pffft.

I wna naaaame my future son; Audi/qasri

i like the name audi, heeeee. mcm easy on the ear gtu kan ? daughter entah eh. must discuss with future husbanddddd. ahah. saper tah eh. athira, i know wht you're thinking. impossible ~

2008-08-31T01:16:00.000-07:00

chef yaya

muffins ~

A lady on her about-to-give-birth-bed says, "bby, why are you looking at my bestf ? am i that ugly ? bby, are you leaving me ? oh no, you are leaving me ! bby, im not giving birth unless you stop looking at my bestf ! bitch, you're prettier than me. go away. Nurse, will you get me my lipstick ? Bby, stop looking at her ! ".

My momdadsister laughed while watching this scene. i dont get it ?

okay letsee,

Monday 250808 din go school. ma bitch overnightted. lovesssss ~
Tuesday 260808 got leadership workshop part two. no comments.
Wedenesday 270808 Rehearsal ! sang with izzalove mcm got no besok gtu.
Thursday 280808 haiyoooo. lengkap satu bulan. im soo loving life (:
Friday 290808 Teachers Day celeb. stompped, camwhored, macd at downtown with momma, went coral with bie, bestf, met lotsa ppl, and went swimming with bie, billy, yaszar, khairi, asyraf, syafiq, haikal. who did i missed ?
Saturday 300808 slacked at home ? went madjack ! eateateat.
Sunday 310808 baked 24 choc muffins at home. a way of welcoming ramadhan !
uh yea, on sundaay 240808 went courts bought cameraaaa ~ and met Didi sama Fuad. fated kot.
as you can see. My life = new + new + exciting shits. i cant be more greatfull than this. and yes, the things + infos tht i nvr wna hear or i can nvr expect, happens & occurs over and over again. all this things that mostly affects me and all those things that doesnt affects me, surprises me like nvr before. i am happy this way. i'll never ask for more. even if yalls come approaching, why would i say no ? its about time i do this. its about time i give it all i got. i repeat, I LOVE LIFE ! and i so got no comments about the people that think they're right when they're not and just keeps surprising people. you guys may thought this things you're doing is cool shits, but eventually its the last thing we wna knw or hear about it. me -> :O

2008-08-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

It's not like im created to think about you, to love you all my life. I have a life, of my own. I've forget you since and never will i ever love. and the time that i'll ever stop hearing ur name is the day i turn deaf. and probably, it would be the best of the best moment of my life. you, completely off my life. even if i hadnt turn deaf, you'd be some trash in my mind. frget about the fact tht i wanted to help. frget th fact tht i loved you, and now i perfectly realise tht you're one of my huge mistake.

FCUKYOU.

2008-08-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

okay lemme talk about NCC this time.

These few trainings has been dissappoiting. Y'all have been getting frm bad to worse. The attendance - goes down th drain like, realy way way way way dooown the drain. How should i say this ? uhm. Let's start with the T. You guys have been the people that has been supporting part B's attendance, you guys were th one thts been giving me the spirit to go on, eventhough our used-to-be problem was the A. But now, since the A are starting to come back, the Ts are gone. only the E stays, forever. Why cant you be consistent in attendance ?! Do you guys knw hw sad, disappoiting and freagginly pathetic our attendance is ?! Whats realy been holding yguys back ? Whats realy the matter w you yguys ? Issit that hard to just turn up for trg once a week, give tht bloody standard, have fun and bond ?! whats with all these attitude ?! you guys are freagginly selfish, no offence ar. What yguys are doing are affecting those innocent people who has big dreams for NCC. If yguys think tht NCC is nothing, you guys have just to do one thing, LEAVE. be a quitter, loser whatever. Just stop thinking fr yourselves.

Stop giving me moodswings every thurs night and fri la !

2008-08-13T01:21:00.000-07:00

I've gta share this to you guys. if you guys gt cableteevee go watch this thing or what shit la. Cause ive been watching this behind th scene of an indonesian drama series and its like freaggin dramatic. hehe yes. And itsooo bring back all th psch memories. okay roughly, this drama is like about two lady (nana and ____ i frget. okay lets name her tutu) -bestfriends, sorta falling fr this guy (rian) -celeb, and somehw its like so fated tht they got to meet this guy. And the drama series shows how this two girl overcome their problems. There was alot of fights/arguments/confrontations and all those times when they tried to defeat each other. fuuh, hectic i tell you. ive watched one of the episodes and after five mins, i was alr out of breath. Yknw hw indonesian drama exegerates every scene; two thumbs up.

So tutu actually get along better with rian so they've been close since they knew each other. and they're often complimented as th most suitable couple eva. everyone was like so excited la liddat. the news and pictures going ard wild enough to make nana jealous. and so, th first thing she did was tht she tried to get closer to rian and dress herself up and stuff. she flirt like twofourseven.i got sick of her flirtacious face sia. her face, +disgusting , -pretty. yknw wht i mean ? pfft.

But the sad thing is, they've been bestfriends since forever. and th first few episodes was liek all about them. About hw close they were. I almost mistook them fr twin sisters, realy. They helped each other overcome each other's problems and i like th part when tutu sleptover at nana's house. i love that episode ! one word; FUN. they had complete fun, i tell you. and they made this promise to each other : We promise to get through any problems together and not letting anything get in our way. Sisters forever ! hahahahaha. However, it only took A GUY to seperate them. How sad ]':

so this drama thing is still going on. idk whats the ending like so ive beeen waiting real patiently fr this to end. i wna seeee hw they concluded this drama and ended of their fights. i'll update you guys once i knw wht happen okay ? pinky promise. idc if you dnt wna knw, i'll still post about it ! if you guys are like interested to knw, you guys go check out fr youryouryourselves.

And yet all this scenes,episodes and dramas is all compact fitted into one boxz. The teevee. it seeems all so dramatic and you might think its all shit and could nvr happen right ? sheesh, ive a confession to make. Yani & me fell fr th same guy at psch ! hahahhahahahahaha. ohgosh. i still remember hw close we were and we fought just bcause of him. uhhhhhh. at last, neither of us got him. S.T.U.P.I.D , i know. pfft. and yes, can i dedicate this post to you hunn. Sorry about all those nasty psch times. imy badly ):

And th only reason im posting abt this drama is bcause i cried watching one of the episodes hehe,
BETWEEEN US TAAAAAAAAAAAU. *winks

2008-08-12T05:07:00.000-07:00

i dont have th time to type as long as sheshe does,
so this post aint gna be THAT long, i wna share this lyric.
it kinda mean something. idk what, okay go.

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your hurt and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
But I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
But there's nothing left to say - but goodbye
You deserve a chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful for me
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

Power eh ? yea i guess so. i dont know whats the word i can ever use to describe me-now. Yes, its different. and Yeaa i felt it, the lost. but im happy. Yea, im certain of that. For all i know, im sure that im closer to my girls. and yes, im happy of thaaat. nothing could have been better right ?

uh, 2008. its just so depressing and disappointing. no offence anyone, but could you guys can just stop frm going astray ?! Just be who you realy are, stop being somone you're not, stop being tht somone whom you thought you would get more friends being liddat, stop being so foolish - Just be yourself. Speak fr yourself man ameeeera. ugh, but realy. I wonder why we arent as united as we used to be. Arent we HAPPY before ? All this changes arent necessary, not for you or me. Why would you guys do this to us ? Leadership; influence. Influence ? stop it. fcuk this smoking thing. It ain't cool. You dont look Hot, standing there puffing your lives off, coughing ur bloody asz off. It's not cool. Yknw whats cool ? Do you freaggin know whats cooool ?! twozerozeroseven. Now thats COOL. us being so childish. us being so ourselves. us being so united. but now, this is SHIT. take that.

WHATS UP WITH ALL THE MOODSWINGS ?! some growing up symtopms or what sia ? pfft.

2008-08-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

she has great taste,
and ure nt my type.

4th August 2008.
11th month anni ! (as stated in hp)

Yea, tomorrow. Our eleventh month anniversary. Supposed to. But its over. The eighth month msg is still my favourite. But what has been done, cnt be undone. can it ? If only i could do something. I would realy love to change you. Not for me, but fr yourself. I know, you wont live happiness, if this goes on. 27 rejab, i wished that god would give you th strength and guide you to change and that someday, our dream would be real. someday. Maybe , i was being silly. Love ? Is this love. I doubt so. Fanatic, i say. Im dumb. Silly me. What do i see when i close my eyes ? These; our sunday nights, the sunset, the beautiful awesome sunset, the morning walk, our very first date, the way you tell me you love me, the way you look me in the eyes, you are th music in me, kiches, th way i pushed you and you pulled me back into ur arms, th way you lie on my shoulder and tell me, " imagine one day, you're here all by yourself, without me. ", the way we had the serious conversations, the day you asked me to be yours forever, the way you called me your bby, the way you apologised for the silly mistakes you did, th way you called on me and recite the surahs to me, th way you read of al-quran, those times when we argued over small things, those times you went down on ur knees and 'proposed', those time when we played pepsi cola 123, those times you feed me, those times when you take away my specs and told me hw beautiful i was without it, those time when you made me feel safe, those times when you hugged me tight and say tht everythings gna be fine, the very first kiss we shared, the very first time we talked, the very time you whispered to me, those times you taught me hw to play cards, those times you showed me 'magic', the spark, the everything. ohgod. memories. beautiful ones. someday, i'll learn to live without them. Thank you fr everything.

2008-08-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

what was i thinking again ?

haha, learned my lesson.
shall we not talk about it again.
shit this blog.
it's all about him.
heh, whatever.
let's just make this th last post fr him.

yo you,
You need time, to change. Goodbye.

haha
No matetr how angry i am, no matter hw much i hate him, no matter wht im feeling, no matter hw confused i am, I LEARNED MY LESSON.
never ever gna be involve, again.

2008-07-20T06:18:00.000-07:00

I cant stand i cant stand i cant stand this talking neighbours, ugh.
I swear i swear i swear my temper nowadays like shit, ugh.

Afameefeerafa nowfowafadaysfays badfad temfemperfer siafia. Itsfits notfot thatfat ifi likefike itfit, butfut myfyselffelf cantfant standfand itfit. itsfit likefike ifi cantfant confontrolfrol itfit. ishfish ! ifi hatefate itfit. ifi swearfwear ifi hatefate thatfat bitchfitch. fcukfcuk youfou. ughfugh. andfand youfou, fcukfcuk offfoff. ifi cantfant standfand lifefife.

okay, life been sucking. suck in suck out seriously, temper has been updown. uncontrolable. been shouting at sistas for no reason. been pissing mom off for no reason. been rude to daddeyh fr umpteen times, fr no reason. seriously, moooooooood been way fcuked down. been way unfriendly to online friends, sorry korang. been being bitchy when gg out, to strangers, to cleaners, to toddlers. gosh, sorry yall.

and friend-dekat (friendlaintkmoterasa), yea i know ME and i'll certainly do something about it. No worries. For this, i guess i can do smth to change it all. As long as im able to, i'll try. Things will be back as it, i hope. And you wont have to worry nomore. I promise. Even if things are unchangeable, i'd change me for you. so sorrrreyh.

*jerk you sucka you.

2008-07-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

2 solid hours of pure walkin. Walked walked, nothing more. Just walked. Now my body's achin. Ache ache, nothing more. Just achin'. Pain, inside out. Ruined mood, ruined weekend. I swear im hatin' every bit of this. Jugglin relationship, friendship, studies and matters of life. My life. Everythings messed up; my thoughts, my feelings, my mind. sigh.

You're just unchangeable syg. No matter how long i wait to see you change,no matter how much ive gave just to see you change, just aint worth it. You just gta dissappoint me time and again. Someday, i just hope to see you matured enough to carry through a lifetime-relationship with your one. Hope its me, i doubt so. Im patient, yes. But ive my limits.

Kawan syg, i am sorry we're in this state. I hope there aint no grudges or doubts between us. Not anymore, please. Not when august coming. It just that, imma human with ma own thoughts and feelings. I just need time time and more time. I say, God's been Fair and thank god. imma bad girl. and i wna be a bad-girl-gone-good this time round. so give me space and time.

I SAY I WANT SPACE AND TIME.

* imma sad bitch, you're a happy slut. now GONE.

2008-07-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

His favourite, used to.

2008-07-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

Im all confused. I dont know. Im just fcuked up with everything now ar. Studies, him, her, them. Its just that, uh. I dont knw how to put it in words alright. And beb, im giving way alright. i just thought that you've gone thru alot this year and she would be perfect fr you to lean on alright. I dont mind sharing, at all. But i dont want her to get the wrong idea. I never did or have any intention to leave you or anything. never did. And im sorry, you, fr making you think im taking her away frm you. I knw you do mind and i mind too. Im afraid im gna be a burden or being someone tht gets between anyone. i dont want. And im frustated uh. crazy pig siaaaal. You. YOU.Youuuuuuuuu're taking away THEM from meeee. I guess you're tht wanted kinda person, but wtf. I mind. But i knw if i say it too, it'll bring me nowhere except more harm. And wtffffff lar cb. idk whats with you siaa. Go lar with your twin, your daddy, your everyone. I seriously cant be bothered siool. eh siaaaala, GIVE UP SIAAAAAK. 2008 SUCKS BADLYYYYYYY TO THE INNER SOUTTTH. DEEP SOUTH !

* so lets nw all pretend nothing happened, and get on with life. Terasa, ur pasal. cause i cant be bothered kkkkkk. BYE.

2008-07-13T01:32:00.000-07:00

Forget about me

You said,
it wasn't gonna be like it was before.
Then it happened again.
Pushing me back out the door.
Thought it would be for real this time.
Love me forget about the signs.
So now what do i do?
Now that I know that we're through.
Wish that I could move on
Can't let go, it's too strong
Just like that and then you're gone
If this how you wanted it to be?
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery.
Why don't you love me?
The way I'd loved you
It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me.
Too late, sorry. I didn't have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby, I don't understand
Gave you everything you asked for
And was ready to give you a lot more
I would've given you the world
Right in the palm of your hand.
Wish that I could move on
Can't let go, it's too strong
Just like that and then you're gone
Was this how you wanted it to be?
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery
Why don't you love me?
The way I'd loved youIt feels so crazy
'Coz I don't know what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly'Coz I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me.
Boy, my heart was true
And that you can't deny
Don't be a fool
And walk away from all the lies
It's up to you'Coz heaven knows
I've tried.
Tell me you're still in love.
Why don't you love me?
The way I'd loved youIt feels so crazy
'Coz I don't know what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
'Coz I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me.
Forget about me
I really love you.

By Little bit.

What about me ?
How will i live without you ?
Why do have to do all this ?
When will you ever change ?
Where did i go wrong ?

Answer me.

You've been Selfish,
All that you thought off was ur rights as a Boyfriend,
but what about me ?

You've been self-centered,
All that you bother was yourself
and your wants tht you desires,
but what about me ?

You're mean.

2008-07-01T02:36:00.000-07:00

Dear you,

I cant help it. I was so scared of you. Not that im trying to use this as a reason. fr godsake, no. Neither tht i wna let go off you nor i hate you, lets just take this as a time fr us to cool down. No use us going on without getting the fact right. The fact tht our feeling is all now mixed up. Use this period of time for you to be sure of what you feel fr me or fr her. Use this period of time to let your mom believe you and gain back all tht trust frm her. Use this time for us to clear things up, all doubts. I've shed too many tears and yet nth has much change since the very first time.

Love,
Me

2008-07-01T02:30:00.000-07:00

Bestfriend,

Im sorry to have put you in a spot. I can't believe tht i almost strangled you. Lucky, i got a hold of myself. and tht im sorry to put you through such shit tht you dont deserve at all. I was stupid, i was dumb. I shouldnt have let you go through it all with me. Its me, you dont have to be in it in anyway. Uh, im just so sorry. Whatever it is, im just so gratefull tht i got you. realy.

2008-06-30T02:28:00.000-07:00

To think that you would change for me.

2008-06-30T02:06:00.000-07:00

What is it that ive not been giving ? What is it that ive been lacking ? I gave you all you wanted. I gave up hereafter for you. I did it, with fear, for you. For you. Have you even thought about me ? Didnt you even thought abt hw i'll feel ? How hurt im gna be ? Didnt you even thought how i'd reacted ? Crying or even slashing ? Havent you hurt me enough ? Wo do you even think i was ? Some sick person that'll be cured with a kiss ? what was i realy to you ? Some desperate bitch crawling after you for love ? Was it so hard to be faithful for even a second ? Why must you even do this to me ? Why do treat me like some dumb person or idiot ? What makes you think im one ? Why must you broke your promises ? Was it so hard to keep one ? Even one ? Have ive been asking so much ? Why must you make me hate myself for forgiving you and fr loving you ? Tell me, please.

bad one.

2008-06-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

I dont get it. I've been living life for almost fourteen years. I'm not borned yesterday. Or neither did i just learned to talk last night. Is it you or is it me that has been totally different nowadays ? We're not what we were. We did not do things that we used to do anymore. We dont talk stuffs that we always talked about. I don't feel like im yours. I feel abandoned, neglected. Not loved. not anymore. We rarely fight now and i thought that its good. But its not, never been good. I promised and i kept it. But you just keep on breaking ur promises that ive always been holding onto. Not your love, your promises. And soon, i'll run out of them. So what am i suppose to do ? Tell me, help me, pardon me. Please. Don't hurt me again, don't betray me again, don't let me cry again, Don't. You thought, I have eyes to cry, ears to be torn and brain to be smashed. No bby, no. I have them to see, listen and to think. Im neither dumb or stupid. No matter how much i kept my mouth shut, you knew that my heart has always been talking. And to think that ive been giving so much, preparing myself to be burn in hell, just for you. And to think that ive been forgiving you all this while. And to think i said love when thats the last thing i should be talking about. And to think ive been lying all my life, just for you. And to think that you're gna change for me. My thoughts are all bullshits, i say. Now, im saying. They're Bullshits. You let me slipped through your arms, *click just like that. Just like that. I tried so hard to think whats gg on in your mind, but i was thinking too hard. You're dragging me away frm me being me. You're taking my guts away from me. You're pulling my life away from what is has to be. You, my lover.